Being Who You Are

Hi!

I have had several people now drop me because I revealed to them that I was exploring Satanism.   I could of course have told them that I was JUST exploring it and that I was NOT intending to stay in it because I am now and will always be a Witch but I feel that if they cannot handle who I am, what I want to be, where I want to go, then are they worth the time and effort needed to keep them around?

I guess it depends on who it was.  These people were semi part time friends, I would talk to them when they wanted to talk, Never when I needed them and it was always about them anyways so I did not care when they said goodbye-someone like Tammy or Amber leaving me though, I would fight for them.

:)

I do not think I will ever have to worry about that though.

Blessings!

The Job

Hi!

I try to be a super nice person when it comes to my clients.   Even when they tell me the dumbest things, like I just had a client tell me that he believes his missing bunny was abducted by aliens and he wants to know if I can contact the ship to bring him home.

I have another client who believes that she is raped nightly by the dead.    

I have come to realize that there are many people who need serious mental help and think that by coming to a Psychic is how they can get the help and I don't know what to say to that, I cannot tell them they are crazy because that does not lead to job security and I cannot tell them what I really think about the whole thing so I just have to take their money, listen, try to show compassion (even if it's faked) and hope they find help.

To me, It's a Job.  It's fun sometimes and I make good money sometimes but that is all it is to me, I love money and so it's the perfect Job for me and I can work at home and just talk to people online.

Speaking of....here comes another one.

Are all people who believe in Psychics crazy?   No.   I think they are many things, lonely, desperate, confused, crazy, weak.   I do not believe in it myself nor would I ever consult with one but that is me.

:)

Blessings!

Getting to know me more!

Do you have a magickal name? 

No.   I feel that the invention of magical names is a Wiccan practice and I am a Witch.   

What does it mean? 

No Magical Name.

How did you find Wicca/Paganism? 

As I said before, I was introduced to it when I was 9 but I did not really take it upon myself to become a practicing Witch until I was 17.   

How long have you been practicing? 

I always say since I was 9 so that makes it 30 Years but since I was 17 when I first dedicated myself to The Goddess...That would be...22 years!

Solitary or group practitioner? 

Solitary.

What is your path? 

I am on an Eclectic Path, I worship The Goddess.  Pantheism.   I am exploring Satanism in depth at the moment and finding that to embrace what most people consider to be the DARK side is a GOOD thing as long as there is balance.

Are you out of the broom closet? 

Very few people know I am a Witch, most think I am an Atheist or now some people believe I am a Satanist because as I said, when I explore a path I take on that path completely, I become that role I am playing....but those that KNOW me know I go by the term -once a Witch, always a Witch-.

Who is your patron God? 

No God.

Who is your patron Goddess? 

I do not believe in this as I see it as connected to Wicca, I find that Wicca has many positive websites, books, etc but I don't consider myself a Wiccan Witch.

What Gods do you worship?   

The Goddess.   The Universe/Nature.

What Goddesses do you worship?

Same answer

Do you worship the Christian God? 

No.  I am a Witch.  Not a Christian.   I do not believe in their God.

Do you ever worship animals? 

I worship The WHOLE of Nature.  Not Individual Parts.

Do you regularly commune with nature? 

No but only because I am not near anything Natural, I live in the heart of a city and there are no parks, no beaches, no bodies of water, NOTHING around here so for now I stay inside and do my work and hope for a day when Don and I can move!

Ever walked barefoot in the woods?

No but it would be lovely… not keen on getting stabbed in the toe though.

Taken a camping trip just to talk to nature? 

I have been camping but I do not talk to Nature.  I commune with it, I sit in it. I look at it.  I enjoy the feeling that I am connected to it.

Describe the moment you felt closest to Mother Earth? 

When I lived in Oregon,  I would often go out into the fields at night and just look up at the stars, I remember one night I was doing this and my parents turned on the sunday night disney movie and 'when you wish upon a star' started playing which was the theme to the disney movies back then and I felt so connected.  To this day when I hear that song, I am connected to everything in that moment.

Do you have a familiar? 

No, I do not believe in them.

Have you ever called upon the powers of an animal in ritual? 

No.

Or a plant? 

I have used herbs, plants, tree bark, tree sap, flower petals and such things as that in my magical work.

Do you hug trees? 

Of course.   who doesn't do this?

Give them gifts? 

No, The Tree does not know that I am there so why would I do this?

What is your favorite flower to work with? 

Any that smell nice and look nice on my altar.

What is your favorite tree to work with? 

Any.

What is your favorite holiday? 

Halloween.

What is your least favorite holiday? 

Easter.

Have you ever held a ritual on a holiday? 

Of course.   I just did my Halloween ritual to honor the dead.

Ever taken a day off work to celebrate a Pagan holiday?
I work from home and when Its a ritual day, I do what needs to be done.

Do you celebrate Yule on the 21 rather than the 25?  

Yes, I tend to start it on the 21st and let it go till the 26th.

Have you ever felt the veil thin?

No. I do not believe in this.

Ever danced the Maypole? 

No...

Know what the Maypole symbolizes?

In Wicca I am sure it means something.

How do you usually celebrate the Pagan holidays? 

I have my own ways of celebrating random ritual days and that for the most part that is all I bother with but then I do celebrate Yule, Halloween...

Do you use Tarot? 

No.   I used to use them in my work as a Psychic but now I have a different method which combines the Die with something I learned a long time ago.   Trusting my own Intuition.

Do you use runes? 
No

Do you use a pendulum? 

No

Do you use dowsing rods? 

No

Do you use astrology? 

No

Any other form of divination? 

The die is the ONLY form of divination that I use.

What was the first spell you did? 

I have no idea.   That would have been when I was 17 and who knows what mind frame I was thinking in back then?

What was the latest? 

Believe it or not I RARELY do magic, the last spell was to bring my sister home to me, and it worked!

Ever done a love spell? 

I have done a spell to make my relationships more loving.

A job spell? 

No.

A healing spell? 

Yes

What was the most powerful spell you’ve ever performed? 

I think they are all powerful in their own right.

What deities do you usually call on?

None.

Do you believe in Vampires?  

Just the people that claim they are Vampires, those that live the lifestyle. 

Werewolves? 

Of course not.

Shapeshifters? 

No

Elves? 

Oh God.

Faeries? 

Of course not.

Dragons?  

No

Nymphs?  

LOL

Sprites?  

Yes, finally, I had some last night.  YUM

Mermaids?

No!

Sirens?   

Yes, I heard one earlier

Satyrs?  

Sigh

Ever “seen” any of the above? 

No

Ever talked to any of the above? 

I am not crazy.

Ever used any of the above in magick?

No

Do you have one of them as a personal guardian?  

LOL

Do you see a rabbit, a man or a woman in the moon?

A man.

Own a cat? 

No, One owns me though.

When you mediate what does your happy place look like? 

I do more contemplation and I see a nice home near a stream or river and a body of water.

Do you work with Chakras? 

No

Do you believe in past lives? 

Yes and No, I believe in indirect reincarnation.

If so, describe a few briefly:  

N/A

Do you believe in soul mates?

No....Maybe....hehe

Do you have a spirit guide? 

No

Is it always love and light? 

That is not reality!

Blessings!

Honoring The Dead-Happy Halloween!

Hi!

Hail Satan!

This means Hail Thyself since Satanists do not believe in an actual deity, we are the deity basically.    It is good for me to explore because I am also a non theist.   To me, The Goddess is NOT a deity, she is The external and internal Universe, Nature.   I consider myself a Pantheist Witch with Satanic influence at the moment but I do not want to get caught up in labels because I will be boxed in and I refuse to be boxed in.

So, I went with Tammy and Jamie to the Haunted Houses, The Freakling Bros show and it was awesome!    There was a satanic Priest outside (pretend) who was tempting us and flirting with Jamie, he was fat and ugly and repulsive dressed in a Priest's robe.   :)

After that I came home all happy, Don chickened out.   I was upset but that's Don.

I plan to spend tonight in Ritual honoring the dead in my life with candles, Incense, their photos on my Altar and with watching horror movies and eating peanut butter cups.   :)     I cannot wait!

Blessings!

True Carnal Nature

Are we all Inherently selfish?    Am I selfish?   I do love money.  I love gifts.   Can someone purchase me?   Can friendship be purchased?   No.  Not TRUE friendship.  Are there people in my life that can buy me gifts?   Yes.  I love gifts.  I love money.  I would never ask someone I loved to do this though, I love them more than money.    I do not know.  Satanism says that we are to embrace our true carnal nature.   We are greedy and selfish and since I am that as well, there is nothing wrong with embracing that side of myself.

I tend to think that maybe they are right in a sense.  I do not see anything wrong with wanting more.  I love money.  But not at the cost of my friends and family but then I don't think that they are advocating this either.

They are not saying for us to betray our friends and family to get more of what we desire, they are saying that there is nothing wrong with being greedy.  

Take for example, a friend who is not really a friend bought me a plant recently for a holiday and the gift was so dumb, this guy is not a friend anyways so I dropped him because he does not benefit me in any significant way and if he is going to send crappy gifts, why bother?

So, I have that side to myself and I do plan to embrace it more as I delve deeper into Satanism.   

Blessings!

The Inner Circle

Hi!

In some Satanic circles, there is something called, The Inner Circle. This is YOU and then your loved ones, the people you would NEVER harm.   

Well.

If I had to pick an Inner Circle...

Me, Don.
Denielle (His niece)
Tammy
Amber, Cory, Jamie
Cassandra, Andrea, Seth.

That sounds right....

Truth is that while this makes some sense, does that mean you would harm other people and to what end?   The Satanic Bible says to treat people as they treat you.   If someone harms you, do you harm them back?    The Satanic Bible says Yes.    This clearly flies in the face of what I was raised with but on the other side of that I know that Tammy has done spells to cause harm or get revenge when someone has really hurt her and If someone hurt someone on my list, I can't say I would just stand by...I'd be very angry and want Justice but is Justice the same as Revenge?

Blessings!

A Satanic Witch's Altar....

I bought some of the books in The Satanic series today, There are about 40 books all in all written by people of interest from LaVey to Gilmore, Blanche Barton, Matt Paradise, Nemo and more and then there are a few books that are theistic Satanism I would like to read so I can compare and then of course I am still reading a handful of books on Wicca and I just found 2 books I want to read by a woman named Liz Pilley who is a Non Wiccan Witch like me!

I was thinking of doing my Altar so that on the one side is everything Satanism while I am on this path of exploration and one side is Witchy.   I could have my chalice on one side and then a Baphomet Chalice on the other.   :)

3 friends could not handle that I was exploring Satanism and they dropped me this week.   I did not tell them that I am only exploring it though and that I am still and will always be a Witch but the thing is that I see religious exploration like that of an actor taking on a role, I HAVE to become that role, I cannot leave any room for doubt so that I can experience what it really is, I can meet people in it and they do not have any doubts and in some sense, I want to experience it from their side and discrimination and assuming that Satanists are evil and kill babies and cats is one way of understanding what they experience in their daily lives.

Hopefully the people who know me will stand by me because I am not going to even start reading the books until I have all 45 of them and that could be a year or two down the line from now.   I will continue this blog in secret and see what happens...

Blessings!

Satanic Books

Hi!

I have decided to get all of the books in the Satanism series, all of the books written by Anton LaVey and the current high priest of the Church of Satan Peter Gilmore and then as many books as I can that revolve around the subject but also there are other websites and books that Satanists do not consider to be part of Satanism.

My way or the highway thinking again rears it's ugly head.   I met one woman named Cassie who is a Satanic Witch, I will link her site to mine on my next Links/webpages post but she is a theist and unaccepted by Satanists (The kind I am exploring).    

Satanism says that men who practice Magic are called Warlocks by the way, not Witches which of course I was taught that a warlock is a traitor and someone who you cannot trust, also they believe that Witches-and mainly Wiccans are hypocrites because they invoke spirits and such dark entities into their rituals and then cast a circle to keep them from being harmed, I would agree that IF a Witch did this it would not make much sense, if you are afraid of what the dark energy will do, do not invite it in!

I personally do NOT cast circles because I can only see one reason for using a circle and that would be if you are a new witch doing a dark ritual and you don't want the black energy going out FOR REAL to the person you are sending negative magic to.   Other than that....

I do not need to make the earth sacred, I do not need to create sacred space in other words, what isnt sacred?    LaVey says in The Satanic Bible that historical Witches worshipped and worked with The Devil and now modern Witches deny this and that is why he says we are hypocrities, I have found NO evidence to suggest that this is true though, Witches of old were ACCUSED by modern Christians to worship The Devil or call on The Devil but it was never shown to be true.    

I wonder if Satanism is a reaction to Christianity?     I will keep exploring though.

Blessings!

Satanic Ideas

Hi!

So, I just finished reading The Satanic Bible.   Fascinating how much of it I totally connect with.  In fact, I agreed with the whole thing for the most part and I am now wondering if I could be a Satanist.    

Satanists practice Magic.   Two types actually.  Greater and Lesser. Lesser though is where you dress a certain way, act a certain way, say certain things to manipulate the world around you to get what you want.   I think everyone does this.   who hasn't manipulated someone to get something they wanted or to get something to go their way?

Greater Magic is using Ritual drama, psychodrama and ritual magic.   I have always done these things.   In Satanism there is no God.  I technically have a Goddess but only Technically.   They believe that we should only do that which benefits US ultimately and worry about ourselves first and then our Inner Circle and then if we wish others or we don't have to care about anyone else that is fine too.

Satanism is a VERY carnal religion and they reject all notions of spirituality.   Not sure what their views on my morning ritual would be or my random ritual days.     

I am finding this a very fascinating exploration but a bit scary, I would have to immerse myself completely into it to really understand it and I plan to do just that but can you imagine where this might lead me?

Blessings!

Cats

Hi!

I love my cat!

Mista Poot.

He is an adorable, very friendly, very affectionate poot.   He is scared of EVERYTHING though, every little noise or sudden movement from you and he jumps up and will hide, he was abused before I adopted him at 5 months so I understand but in a sense you would think that he would know us by now.   :0    then again, maybe that is why he jumps because he knows us!   haha!

Hi Pooty Pants!

:::Waves:::

Right now he is under the blanket with his head peeking out!

Is it me or do all Witches have cats?

Blessings!

Get to know me!

1. Your favourite type(s) of magick. 

Candle.  In fact I never do magic without a candle or Three.  I prefer the candle colors match the type of spell I am doing as well but as said many times on here before, that is just for ME.

2. Your least favourite type(s) of magick.  

Anything Planned.   I am not into planned Rituals or Magic, I do not know if tomorrow is a ritual day or if the next one will be next week.   I am a very spontaneous person in real life as well and I think magic is a very personal experience as is ritual.

3. How you feel about the Trifold Law (if you follow it)

Of course I do believe in the law of return (no idea what has happened to my font or color here.   lol   I believe what is sent out, comes back.   but not times 3, more like times 10.

4. How did you first meet your spirit guide/animal. 

I do not personally believe in spirits of any kind, let alone spirit guides.   I have a cat which could loosely be called my familiar though because cats are drawn to me and I am seriously drawn to them.   and Turtles.   :)

5. Your opinion on death (murder) curses. 

I started a curse once.   I stopped it very quickly because it was wrong.   If you are doing a black ritual which is where you let built up dark energies out of your system, think about someone dying or being cursed or what not and then you release that energy out into the shadows then to me that is ok because this is a PSYCHOLOGICAL process and no one is harmed by it and in fact by not doing a ritual like this, you could end up doing more harm to yourself then Yes, I think it's good but to actually do a curse where someone dies..?   do you want the law of return hitting you back and say killing your boyfriend or sister?    NO!

6. When do you feel your most powerful. 

When It's raining.   Cloudy days. I feel connected, whole, alive.

7. How would you keep a hex at bay. 

I have learned how to Ground and Shield myself from such energies.   I have never had to deal with this though because I know that if you piss a Witch off, that is at your own risk and I am not that stupid.   :)    Besides, most modern day Witches do follow the Rede in some shape or form so I have no reason to worry.

8. Do you work with the dead? 

No.  I do not believe you can work with the dead.  When a person dies, I believe that their energies are reabsorbed back into The Goddess and their bodies decay, I do not believe in Ghosts at all and I do not believe that you can contact the dead at all.

9. How do you feel about using dead animals.

I would never do that.   First of all, where would I get a dead animal?   I would NEVER kill an animal to use it in a spell or ritual and second, I am not into road kill, that is just disgusting and besides that, what spell calls for a dead animal?   UGH.

10. Do you use blood for any casting. 

Yes.  I have, my own blood and just a few drops.  To call my sister back into my life, to heal my mom when she had cancer, that kind of thing.

11. What’s your opinion on complicated rituals/spells.

Rituals do not need to be complicated if you are a Solitary.  I simply light candles and incense, oil, burn sage, turn on some music and relax.   I write my spells or read my books or go outside and sit in the rain.  That is all I need.   That is ritual to me.

12. How did you begin your Craft.

I was 9 when I was introduced into it and 12 when I was really aware of what it was all about, I started practicing completely when I turned 17 though.

13. What magicks have you used on yourself. 

I have cast a spell for money as I said in a previous post, I have cast a spell to not be sick and it worked, I have cast a spell to find love and it worked, I have cast a spell to get my sister back in my life-and it worked.   Spells for personal gain are to me what any true Witch would be using magic for but also to help others, to heal the planet, animals, people which is really to me, The Goddess.

14. What magicks have been used against/at you by another/others. 

None that I am aware of.

15. What type of record do you keep of your information (spells, potions, charms, etc).

This Journal.   I do not have a Book of Shadows as of yet because I have never seen one that I was drawn to buy, I am very particular about what I buy, what I have on my Altar, etc, I am hoping to post some pics of my altar on here by the way SOON!  (Off Topic I know)

16. What type of curse was the last one you used.

I wanted to ruin Casey's wedding to Pete because she had dumped me and gone back to him, This was during my mid life am I gay, crisis but I thought better of it and aborted it.  An It harm None do what ye will.

17. What magickal artifacts do you use most.

I have a Bell I ring as I go into Rituals, I have a chalice that I use of the Moon and Stars but I need to replace it because it's well worn.  I use candles, incense, Oil, sage, dice, books...

18. Which of your magickal artifacts did you make yourself. 

None.

19. What are your personnal beliefs regarding:

19a. Gods/Goddesses. 

The Goddess IS The Universe/Nature.   

19b. The Fae    

I Do not believe in anything supernatural.  magic is NOT supernatural.   The Goddess IS Nature.   I guess you might call me a Naturalistic Witch but I prefer Eclectic.

19c. Demons. 

Demons are a Christian invention.   I am not a Christian, I was not raised around this religion and therefore I have no beliefs in demons.

19d. Gremlins, brownies, pixies, ghouls.  

Again, I do not believe in anything supernatural or Paranormal.   ONLY The Goddess, Magic, Logic, ration, skepticism and Personal Experience which so far has not included any of the above!

19e. Black vs White magick. 

The Way I was raised is that there is Black Magic and there is White Magic, These days it's popular to say-There is no such thing as Black Magic, I personally think this is a reaction to Christianity, to make us look or sound better but I believe there is such a thing and I do not believe in Black Magic, in doing it, if someone harmed me or someone I love, I do not know what I would do though, surely the law of return would take that person out, would it not?

20. Define yourself: Wiccan, Witch, Pagan Etc…   

I am a Solitary (I work alone) Eclectic (I draw from many different religious ideas) Witch (I revere The Goddess, Practice magic and seek to attune myself to the natural cycles of the Earth).

21. Patron God or/and Matron Goddess.  

No.   This is a Wiccan teaching.   I believe In The Goddess ONLY.   Yes, I do believe in Balance and that there is a Male and female energy in this Universe, God and Goddess, I prefer however to use the word Goddess.

23. Your Sun Sign.     

Taurus but I do not believe in astrology.   I am a very scientific oriented person and I have read hundreds of books on rational thinking, reason and logic, critical thinking and I find that astrology is just not accurate to describe who we are as complex beings.

24. Your Moon Sign.  

No idea.

25. Your Rising/Ascending Sign. 

Again, No idea.

26. Your Favorite Element. 

WATER!   The Rain!

27. Favorite Tool.

Dice.

28. Favorite form of Divination/Scrying. 

The die (Dice).   The die is something I carry with me when I go out but these days I do not view it as The Goddess talking as I did when I was younger though I admit that at times looking back at the past instructions that came from the die, It does seem that something more intelligent was leading me and guiding me to right decisions.

29. Favorite Sabbat. 

I do not celebrate the Sabbats being that I do not consider myself Wiccan.   Halloween is my favorite holiday though.

30. Pet Peeve of the Pagan Community.

People who argue about whose beliefs are “right.” 
When people get their head bitten off for expressing their opinion.
When people are excluded from a group/conversation because of their race, religion, sexuality, or gender identity.  Everyone has a right to express their beliefs and be who they are.

Blessings!