Book of Shadows

I do not personally have a Book of Shadows, I have never found one that I felt drawn to, I also do not own an Athame for the same reasons, I need to see one that I want to spend my money on (greed)   haha!     I need to feel drawn to it.   I have never been drawn to any book.  Maybe one that looks like the Book of Shadows from the tv show 'Charmed'   Yeah.  I'd like that.

Anyways, I am here to share what would be in my Book of Shadows if I had one and in some sense, this online Journal could for now represent my BOS?

I would probably make entries for each Random Ritual Day that I hold and put what happened inside the ritual though to be honest I never do the same ritual twice, It's very personal, very hard to explain the process and what happens in ritual, stays in ritual, haha!

Some of the magic I have done is NOT repeatable.   I write down what I want usually in a rhyme.   I light the candle I feel is right, It usually matches in color because it's how I feel though of course I know in reality that candles, paper, knives etc are just tools!

I usually either contemplate and visualize what I want coming true or I spirit dance to send it out and then I burn the paper and blow it out over and over again until the die informs me that the spell is finished, this can be quite an ecstatic process because when I dance, I sweat, I often have slipped into a Trance state to achieve my magical ends.

I did a spell the week after mom died.   I needed money, I said $500 in the spell.   I sent the energies out and then let it go....a week later I was in 7-11, I bought a diet cherry pepsi big gulp (Yay) and then had $5 left and put it in the machine, I hit 4 Deuces and that was $1000!    

I have done other spells as well and had them work but I wonder...all spells do not work so is it possible that Magic is more of a psychological process to better our Inner/Deeper selves and Ritual is much like psychodrama?    This is something Satanism says as well but some Satanists do believe in Real Magic.    It's complicated I think.   :)

Blessings!